Out of Shape Fat Man Plays Football With 10-year-old Boys

You know when you go to your doctor with a pack of MRI films and radiology report and he opens it up and goes, "wow that is really bad". "Hmm", "interesting" and then leaves the room that nothing good is coming out of his mouth when he returns. Not only does he just leave, he doesn't come back for 3 minutes (seemed like an hour) while I am freaking out. When he does come back, he tells me he has never seen this injury in a person who hasn't previously had shoulder surgery before. Sure enough, I am able to confirm this on the interweb. So, of all the shoulder problems that occur, I had to have the "rare" one. Great.

Isolated tears of the subscapularis tendon are uncommon and are usually associated with acute traumatic hyperextension or external rotation [5]. Acute tears are easily diagnosed on US or MRI with fluid replacing the torn subscapularis tendon (Figure 15). Frequently tears of the supraspinatus tendon extend to involve the superior edge of subscapularis. These tears may also involve the coracohumeral ligament which is situated in the rotator cuff interval (the gap between the supraspinatus and subscapularis). This ligament acts as a stabilizing sling for the biceps tendon. A tear of this ligament may result in subluxation of the biceps tendon

So, of all the shoulder problems that occur, I had to have the "rare" one. Great.

In other words, my shoulder is totally farked and I have to have surgery on January 12th to repair it. Not only that I get to spend a lovely 48 hours at the luxurious resort known as Fairfax Hospital. I then get to endure 4 weeks of having my arm in a sling, followed by 8 weeks of physical therapy. Oh the joy.

Yes, I HAVE to get this done, I have been informed that if I do not get it repaired (and soon - like this month) that my bicep will shrink (insert girly man joke here) and my arm may not be able to fully extend when I get it repaired later. This is because in addition to the tendon tear, my bicep tendon has moved to a place on my shoulder that is a shorter distance to the muscle than it is supposed to be and over time it will shrink.

Oh, and a big fat HA! to Mrs. Sponge who though that I was just being my wimpy little self, who has zero pain threshold. Of course SHE has a high pain threshold, who wouldn't after popping out 4 mini-sponges, none less than 7lbs, 14 oz?

Guess I won't be playing backyard football with boys until Spring...